Coach Yulia

We have tons of guests in town, and the mother in me is coming out, specifically the Russian, Jewish mother who makes sure everyone has eaten, had a drink, and is taken care of. Yesterday after an amazing party in our synagogue for the new bride and groom, I invited all the cousins over to our house, it was awesome.  It is amazing to me how kids play together, click so easily, and what I love the most they keep my kids busy and having fun, so I get a minute for myself and to chat with adults.

I ran across this article, and it cracked me up, it says that kids are 800% likely to whine when their mother comes in the room, even if they were just fine right before, don’t I know it!  My husband always says they never act that way with him!

http://www.momnewsdaily.com/study-children-are-800-worse-when-their-mothers-are-in-the-room/

Then I saw this amazing post by a friend about how raising children is so powerful, it forms who they are, and also helps the parents grow in the process.  It is a choice of course, for some people it is not easy to get out of the programming of genes and childhood, for others it is just a challenge to go from selfish and single, which is not a bad thing when you are single, to dealing with things in the moment and not walking away, being an example, and not giving up.

“Imagine your children in twenty years. They are adults, and all of the values you worked hard to instill in them during their youth have become integrated into a fully cooked human being. Who are they? What are they like? I invite you to take a moment and write down all of the qualities you hope for them to possess. Really think about it, and make a list.
If you are like most parents, your list may seem lofty, with words like fulfilled, accepting, loving, respectful, self-aware, persistent, open, curious, and brave. But how do we, as parents, help our children to become adults who exhibit even half of these glorious attributes? The great anthropologist, Ashley Montagu, wrote, “The child learns to become the kind of human being he or she has experienced” (Ashley Montagu, personal communication, March 13, 1989). In other words, if we want our children to be respectful, we have to be respectful. If we want our children to be persistent and brave, we have to be persistent and brave. Phew. Quite a lot of pressure, right?
Yes. Parenting is a lot of pressure, and I believe it is important for us to recognize the weight of this awesome responsibility. But if we flip the pressure around, we might find that parenting is also an incredible opportunity for us to look at ourselves, and to consciously choose who we want to be in this world. Did you know we get a choice? For many, there is no better motivation for self-growth than the deep desire to do the best we can for our children. But where do we start?
Oftentimes, the first place might be in becoming aware of where we want to go, and how we would like to evolve and heal. I invite you to ponder this question now. Who do you want to be? What are the values and qualities that you would like to work on? Once you have a palpable sense of this, refer back to your list of qualities you envision for your future adult child. If you are like most parents, you will find that the lists are similar, with your hopes for your child being congruent to your hopes for yourself. You already may have been working towards all, or pieces of these lists without recognizing the similarities. Now you have a family goal.
Next, think about ways to incorporate the values important to your family into your daily life. For example, while doing this exercise, one mother realized that communication was something that landed on both of her lists. We came up with ways that her family could practice communication on a daily basis. In her family, each member of the family shares one fun thing, one hard thing, and one proud thing from their days at the dinner table. This helps the family connect and communicate with each other. Just like in the example above, when we are clear about where we are headed, the road along the way often becomes self-evident.
As we and our children embark on our journey together, we get to decide what kind of experiences they will embody, and which qualities we are going to model for them. And in turn, because we love our children so absolutely, we get to grow too.

*Dahlia Greenbaum is a Marriage and Family Therapy Trainee. The information above is for educational purposes, and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are in need of therapeutic help, please seek professional clinical counseling.”

It’s not easy,

I wouldn’t change it for the world,

Ready for them to be adults, have some tea and a good conversation,

Parents tell me they will always be your babies in the good ways and the challenging ways,

OY!

Coach Yulia

I literally got burned three times last week.  I guess always being in a rush and having a millions wonderful things on my plate to distract me is a good excuse.  I had posted the other day that I am not a domestic engineer, I help out, I organize, but my husband is the deep cleaner and cook.  He was explaining me how to warm up some food in a pan, I ended up forgetting about it, and when he reminded me, I reached the wrong way and got a big burn mark on my forearm!  Fortunately nobody noticed it at the wedding because when my makeup artist came over, before she even touched my face, I had her cover up the burn.

Yesterday I picked up a bagel out of the toaster, and it was so hot, but for some reason I still thought I could hold on to it, and lightly burned between my thumb and pointer finger. Notice my legs in the picture, I always wear Yoga pants, so we went to the beach with our cousins, and I decided to let my legs get some color, unfortunately red was the color that I got.

On a brighter note, for the past two months I have been able to be super busy doing what I love, and have just finished a non stop Doula marathon, so grateful, so in tune, so honored to have their trust, strength, and courage.  These wonderful new souls were so good to me, they took turns, let me enjoy teaching my classes and a family wedding, and did the hard work right along with mama with beautiful natural results.  May these wonderful children bring joy, love, and blessings into the lives of their parents, family, and everyone they come across.  I even got to enjoy continuous family celebrations, and am in awe of what is possible when a woman really tunes into when her body is just starting, knowing when they need support, and finding what works to get them through to the big finish.

Thank God,

In Touch,

Aware,

Blessed,

Energy Exchange,

Natural High,

Tired,

Not on call anymore,

Going to sleep better than I have in a long time,

Note to self: no more burns

Coach Yulia

The past few days have been so amazing, family from all sides coming into town, all the kids playing so nicely.  We went to the beach this afternoon, the kids played in the ocean together, and I got to hang out and chat with all my extended family.  I did not snap one picture, first of all because of water and sand, but honestly, I am so appreciating each moment, I just want to be in it.

On Tuesday my husband’s family came into town, we had a huge barbecue the kids were so happy to see their cousins, played until it was too dark to be outside.  There were a few times when I thought it would be a great moment to capture, but then another moment would jump out at me, and I didn’t want to miss one live.  Luckily at the wedding we got professional pictures, and video, and most of the people snapping their own photos, so I know I was covered.  I did not take my phone out once, and my kids wanted to be photographers too, were asking me for my phone, I said why, when there are professional photographers, just have fun, and they did.

I was checking my phone non stop and still am supporting a Doula client, but that is the only reason.  It felt good to be the example of not taking pictures or video at the wedding.  My kids saw that I was just enjoying myself, and they had such a wonderful time too.

So excited for this special Shabbat,

We keep celebrating the bride and groom,

The first celebration is tonight with friends and family from all over the world,

Check out a glimpse of the dance floor at the wedding at the end of the night, my youngest was showing off his moves, and I didn’t see it, but I am happy my friend captured it, sometimes it is good to capture the perfect moment.

Shabbat Shalom,

Coach Yulia

I am so grateful that I get to appreciate every moment of my life. Everything in life is about timing, E V E R Y T H I N G!  If we take time to stop and look at how life unfolds, it is really mind boggling.  All the pieces fit, it is how it is meant to be to make us how and who we are.  I didn’t want to blog until the end of the day, I really did not know ultimately how it would go.

My amazing brother in law got married this evening to a truly unique and loving new sister in law for me.  It was absolutely beautiful, our whole day was preparing and being part of the wedding party.  I took a picture in the morning after my makeup artist stopped by to do my daughter and I, and while I was taking the photo, my son ran by behind us, what a perfect shot! It was a long day, between hair appointments, makeup, and pictures with the whole family.  My husband’s phone stopped working in the middle of it all, so I was running everyone late.  Thank God after that, it was all smooth, beautiful, and everybody had a blast, especially all the children that just became cousins.  The bride and groom enjoyed an intimate evening with close friends and family, the music was just right, the food was delicious, and everybody felt the love.

On top of all of that I am on call to support as a Doula, and it is really just magic how life works, I was able to prepare and be at the whole wedding, we walked down the aisle, and I just knew that I would be able to, I knew deep down.  As much as I know I am open to life unfolding as it should, and I am just grateful that tonight I could fully enjoy a special celebration with my family.

Blessed,

Conscious,

Grateful,

Present,

In Awe Of How Life Unfolds,

Coach Yulia

I have always been naturally high, and now in my Doula work, it keeps me literally on an adrenaline rush, feeling the high of the moment, every day.  When I am on call for a Doula client, at any moment new life can begin to make its way into this world.  It is never an instant thing, but I usually tell my clients to let me know when contractions seem to be getting consistent, so I can prepare the next few days with substitutes for my classes, and make sure my husband is on kid duty.

It is not like the movies or shows you see on TV my friends, I like to say 99.9% of the time it is a process, like everything else in life.  There is no hurry, worry, or things that you cannot control, especially in early labor.  My role as a Doula is active labor, and of course every situation is different, but once early labor begins, I suggest a bath or shower, to drink some wine, sleep, or rest as much as possible.

For the past two months I have been 24 hours on call, and also completely booked with clients for my Yoga and Pilates classes.  At any moment, I would have to drop what I am doing, and figure out the plan.  Last week was insane, I was literally subbing for everybody in town, so there were really nobody to cover if I had to go.  I could have figured out another instructor, that maybe could have done a core and stretch class, but not Yoga or Pilates.  As I was going through my week, I was in awe how every day, hour by hour, class by class, I made it, taught it, and went on to the next.  Literally appreciating every moment that I was able to accomplish.  What if I cancelled all of my classes in advance, I would have been a sitting duck, so I feel excited, full of energy, of the possibility of life happening, and my flexible schedule always changing.  The moment I taught my last class last Friday morning, I got a call to go support my client, so I know that is my message for this week.

Luckily all of my classes and clients are very flexible with me, and I am very flexible with them.  Ultimately whatever will be will be, it makes no sense to worry in advance, to have things live rent free in your brain.  Still I have a lump in my throat, so much amazing stuff going on, not sure what I am going to be able to do and not to do.

On my way to a mani, pedi with my daughter!

Wedding prep!!

Nothing beats a natural high!!!

Coach Yulia

Once we are parents, we really have no choice but to clean after our kids, clean our kids, non stop cleaning after eating and playing.  I am an organizer, I love to find a place for everything, I love to get into a closet and throw away what is not needed anymore, it feels so good to have a clean closet I can walk into.  Sunday my kids decided to play in the “everything closet” where we throw whatever we don’t know what to do with, it was piled up high.  It gave me the perfect opportunity to jump in and get to work.

I am still recovering from my full day of decluttering, I have a severe dust allergy, and my nose and eyes are still sniffling and watering.  It is really bad, all day I was sneezing probably one million times, one after the other, and not just a light little sneeze, but a whole body shaking sneeze that scared my kids.  Then to top it off, it would knock me off guard and some pee would escape.  I am so lucky that after three kids, I do not sneeze and pee on a regular basis, my kegels are strong, I am my own example of it is possible if you keep exercising and activating them, that is what I teach in Yoga and Pilates.

More proof that I am not meant to be a Domestic Engineer, a term for a housewife or stay at home mom. (or dad):

• We have a stacked washer and dryer, my husband always starts the washer, puts the detergent, and I put everything in the dryer and sort afterwards.  The dryer sheets were on the very top, and for a moment, I felt like Wonder Woman, I decided to take a big jump, missed, and landed badly, pulled my back.
• Yesterday I was warming up some good on the stove, my husband gave me directions, and when it was ready, while serving myself I scalded the inside of my arm with the side of the pan.  How did I do it? I have no idea, I really just do not have the wherewithal to wrap my mind about the basics of cooking and cleaning, and I get injured in the process, take a look at the picture above.  When I was growing up, my mother was the cook, and my father would make us clean along with him, hated it, and promised myself I would always have help, Thank God I got a cleanaholic husband, who tells me I do it wrong, so he does the deep cleaning, I wash dishes, sort laundry, and organize.
• Every day I teach classes and explain how to breathe properly, connect the mind and body to the task at hand, especially in a workout, it makes it more effective and prevents injury.  Most importantly to activate the pelvic floor muscles, which is the workout of Pilates.  I wish I listened to myself and didn’t have mommy brain when I was helping my husband clear the rooms for his weekly deep cleaning every Friday for Shabbat.  I was distracted, mommy brain, didn’t activate my core, and picked up something very heavy, a piece of workout equipment that I have at home.  That was a month ago, I am still not 100%, it affected all the work I do, Yoga, Doula, Arasys Inch Loss demo’s, I was in such pain.

So I told my husband, I am not meant to be a domestic engineer, I do not enjoy it, I hurt myself, and I am not able to do the work that I love and that is my business.  The good thing is that since I am a healthy person and know my body, I knew that I got injured right away, stopped everything I was doing, got ice, heat, got a massage, put the shower head with hot water on it, and little by little it is getting better.

That’s All,

Coach Yulia

Sharing is a hot topic at our house, and I tell my kids that they cannot just take something out of someone’s hand just because they want to play with it.  It is a daily conversation, sometimes it is amazing how my three kids under 6 years old play together and help each other, but every day there is one toy that everybody wants at the same time, we get tears and chasing each other around the house.

I wholeheartedly agree with the above statement, it is not about I want it now, but to nicely ask, when you are done, can I play with it?  Sometimes they may even say no, and I think that is OK, I tell them it is nice to share, but I also tell the other kids, its OK to want to play with something, and its OK to wait.

I had such beautiful pregnancy, labor, and birth experiences, I honestly can do that all day, but the kids, I cannot imagine more intense energy in my life.  I am so blessed with my kids, and the only way I know how to operate is to give them all of me when I am with them.  That is why my work is so important, it literally recharges me when I am teaching Yoga and Pilates classes, or supporting a Doula client.  It mind sound odd, but I would rather work, and Thank God my husband fully supports my purpose in this world.  Then when I am with the kids, I am 100% present, which is not easy, but what they deserve.

This week is a flurry of activity, on call for Doula services, family flying in from all over the world for a huge celebration, and booked solid with classes and clients.

I would not have it any other way,

Coach Yulia

I went to the Doula Training above at one of the top hospitals in Los Angeles and Beverly Hills. They have a board that is beginning to incorporate Doula’s into everything they do, including guidelines, so Doctors, Nurses, Midwives, and Interns know their role and a Doula knows the policy of the hospital.  It was very exciting and powerful to hear how hospitals love a Doula to come and support, because they know the labor will many times go smoother, and somebody is always with the laboring mother and family, while they go from patient to patient.  Usually a Doctor or Midwife come at the very end to “catch the baby,” and I use this term because in a healthy pregnancy, that is their only role, they are not needed before the pushing stage.

I was honored and fortunate to support a mother through a very long labor, she was admitted to the hospital because they wanted her on the monitors just to keep an eye but nothing was wrong, the doctor was not there, but could see the monitor on her cell phone.  We went through three nurse shifts, each nurse fit the stage of labor perfectly, her water did not break until the first push, and the mother looked healthy every step of the way.  Her husband and I were a team, and she was in her zone, everybody worked together to let the mother labor and birth her way.  The nurses were grateful that I was by her side when they could not be.  The husband was grateful for my guidance and that everything was not on his shoulders.  A Doula knows that when a mother is at the end, and it is super intense, and she has doubts and is not sure that she can do it, it is the sign that we are at the end and all she needs is a reminder that she is doing it, and she is almost there.

I am also grateful that it is not my job to check dilation, interpret the monitor,  or any other medical procedure.  I want to stay on the energy side, the support side, just focusing on the mother, and let the hospital focus on all the machines.  I actually just had the experience of a woman getting a routine checkup from her doctor and being sent immediately to the hospital because blood pressure and a few other things did not look good.  Once they performed all the necessary tests, they said actually nothing was wrong, it may have been a little higher than usual, so it was good to monitor it, but Thank God a beautiful natural, healthy labor and birth was experienced, because there was actually nothing wrong with the mother or the baby.  We were grateful to be monitored to make sure nothing was wrong, but the hospital staff supported the mother’s labor timeline, did not rush her, did not offer pain management, they were all in awe of what Doula support makes possible, and congratulated the mother on her strength and inward focus.

I am on a natural high,

On call for the next,

Grateful for my purpose in this world,

Energy Support,

Headspace,

Focus On Feeling Good,

Coach Yulia

My message is the same, whether its Yoga, Labor and Birth, or just dealing with relationships and life, whatever you decide and tell yourself is the truth, becomes your truth.  These are words that flow through me when I teach classes or support a Doula client.  I recently had the most beautiful experience with a laboring mother that wore a bracelet like the one that you see in the above picture, it is in Yiddish.  Think Good and It Will Be Good, is really how the world works.

If you tell yourself something is hard, then it is.

If you say I can’t, then it is true.

Instead tell yourself it is challenging and you will try.

I have a problem solver mentality, I live in a happy bubble, and when something doesn’t go my way, I instantly try to figure out how to deal with it.  This is the only way I know how to operate, to be happy, and to deal with things head on.  I am blessed that my children have inherited my happy genes, the problem solving I am still working on.

If you feel you need to release some intense feelings, take a soft deep breath in through the nose, and let it out twice as slow through your mouth.  You can even take a deep breath in and let out a moan, a loud “HEY!” or just say the letter “M” and enjoy the vibration in your body.  All of these breaths force our brain to pay attention, and distract us momentarily from the present, help us release.  Scientifically if we are focusing on our breath, that never stops, Thank God, our brain is unable to focus on anything else.  We really can only do one thing at a time.

Breathe My Friends,

Release,

Feel Good,

Think Good,

It Will Be Good,

Coach Yulia

I just realized that I wrote two blogs on Thursday, not sure how it is possible. I guess I blogged early Wednesday, and then Wednesday night when I came home from the bachelorette party it was after midnight, so it shows as Thursday, and then I blogged Thursday morning.  I have been in a daze and a bubble this week, in the Doula world there is not much sleep, and I am on call, besides picking up a whole bunch of extra classes this week, and cannot tear myself away from the computer as I build my website and marketing campaign.

Have you heard the phrase, once in a blue moon?  Apparently this month there are two full moons, and its called a blue moon, which comes once in a while.  The next one will be January 2018!

http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/29/world/blue-moon-july-31-irpt/

Here is a Jewish perspective, it is about inner and spiritual healing,

 http://www.chabad.org/kabbalah/article_cdo/aid/380026/jewish/The-Phases-of-the-Moon.htm

Yesterday I met an amazing woman, www.healingmyheartcenter.com, she told me some powerful things, if you ask me I will tell you.  I love to keep connecting with people with talents, gifts, and expertise in different areas of physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.  She gave me some amazing tips on how to keep on my path, but also recharge and release.

Grateful For My Gut,

Grateful For My Day Of Rest,

Shabbat Shalom,

Coach Yulia