It Happened

The drive from Boston to New York was super smooth, I am mostly talking about traffic.  We kept the kids calm with movies on the laptop, but some whines got through.  Thank God once we were passing by New York City, the views were exciting enough for them to pay attention and enjoy, the buildings, bridges, and especially the statue of liberty.  We arrived at my friend’s house, the three of us have known each other since we were seven years old, along with two other friends, total of five. We all moved from the Soviet Union in 1980 and went to an Orthodox Jewish School in Denver, Co. We are still close today, and as my mom says, our love and connection is deep.

The picture below shows the three of us with our families, and the expressions on my kids faces are the exact same expressions that they have had throughout our trip.  Not wanting to, unsatisfied, bored, I had to pick both of them up, they weigh 40 pounds each, luckily I have a strong core.  As you see I am trying to smile through it all!

What happened you ask? Everybody was swimming and having fun, and in a flash of a moment, my little one got onto a floatie in the pool, and then next moment my husband noticed he flipped, without hesitation I jumped into the pool fully clothed.  Everything is fine, Thank God, all we can do is feel grateful, there are no other emotions, no what ifs, no fear, no anger, just feeling so blessed that everything turned out ok.  I was so impressed that he instinctively kicked and used his hands, kept his head above water.  Hopefully now he will be more cautious, he was careful before to stay above water because he has tubes in his ears, things happen, have to stay alert, react quick, and trust that everything will turn out ok and we are doing our best as parents.

The Joy of Parenthood,

OY!

Fun, Scary, now relaxing with my husband’s family,

All is Good,

Thank God times infinity,

Coach Yulia

              Notice the black dress when I first arrived, and the green dress in the picture above before we left

It’s Happening, Take Two

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I wrote most of this blog this morning, but was waiting to get this picture since yesterday, it was taken when I first saw my grandmother.  We had a beautiful potluck, 26 people, a delicious cake, took some photos and then just hung out.  When I got back to my computer, what I wrote was gone. The picture above was texted to my phone and didn’t want to transfer into my computer, it wasn’t going through when I emailed it, and FINALLY, it just came through, and I am trying to remember what I wrote this morning before the celebration.

Everything was beautiful, she was beautiful, didn’t change at all since we saw her at 95.  Enjoyed getting to talk to everyone, kids played nicely, and now so happy to be headed towards home.  One more stop tomorrow at a childhood friend for a labor day party, and then to stay with my husband’s family.

Ready For Home Sweet Home,

Not Easy With Kids,

Glad We Did It,

Now Ready For School, Work, and Routine,

Coach Yulia

Family Foibles

Five years ago all of my side of the family celebrated my grandmother turning 95, five years later we are here again, with more kids added to the mix, Thank God.  Tomorrow is the big day, we all got together today, and it was amazing seeing each other again, so many hugs, amazing how kids have grown up, and families have grown.  Although we are all family, we have different philosophies of raising our kids, and it is amazing to see.  We are originally from the former Soviet Union, and then some from the United States, others from Greece and different parts of the world, and now with our spouses from all over the globe as well, our family units are totally different from each other.

Our kids are also all different ages, and mine are in toddler mode, and super clingy, and take turns acting up, and all want mom 24/7.  Hopefully tomorrow everyone will be rested from their travels, and all the kids will be less overwhelmed by the crowd and the occasion, and we can all just chill and enjoy each other, and celebrate my babushka.

Coach Yulia

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Having fun with Dedushka

Ride The Waves

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This picture was my favorite part of our road trip, it really was quite miserable.  One kid was throwing up non stop and the other ones took turns crying over dramatically, and this was our few hours of silence.  We have been quite adventurous with our travel, specifically road trips, two summers in a row we got a huge RV and travelled cross country.  The first year my baby was only 4 months old, the best sleeper ever, and just dealing with two was manageable.  The following year was literally hell, my baby just started walking and kept trying to go up to my husband who was driving, I had to be creative with blocking his way.  The other ones were going stir crazy, even with TV, a full kitche, toys, and tons of planned activities, we swore no more road trips until they got much older.

My amazing grandmother is brining my whole side of the family together again, and honestly it is manageable, but hard, kids are not fun sometimes, but being with the whole family together is worth it for me.

They say that eventually we will laugh at the memories,

OY!

Shabbat Shalom,

Coach Yulia

Two planes and a car

Yesterday was actually the best travel day I have ever had.  We didn’t have to hold our kids hands, they all had a backpack with books, toys, and a change of clothes inside.  The first plane was short and sweet, Southwest has Open Seating, which at first seemed a little scary, but it actually flowed so nicely, very easygoing, big comfortable seats.  I sat with my daughter and my husband sat with our two boys, next to me in the aisle seat sat a six foot five gentleman, and he was raving about Southwest.  Then we had a two hour layover which was the best thing ever, I put on a movie for the kids, we all had lunch, and just had a chance to stretch our legs, and the kids ran around a bit as well.

The second leg was supposed to be four hours, but turned out to be three, the kids did some of their homework, and at the very end when they were getting restless, the stewardess asked them to help stock her sodas and help open and close cabinets.  We got all our luggage quickly, the only hold up was at the rental car, there was a line, but the kids found a friend to play with while we waited, so it was all good.

My friends have a beautiful house in New Jersey, we are just relaxing until everybody gets back from work and school, and then we are going to play and BBQ, Woo Hoo!

Feeling Relaxed and Happy,

Coach Yulia

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My little guy practicing his selfies

I’m going to do my best to let negative emotions flow and hopefully fly away

I saw a friend who is a therapist post this on her page, and it gave me some perspective on my trip ahead.

Parent Tip:

Is your child allowed to be “dirty, funny, needy, silly, proud, aggressive, weak, defiant, creative, and uncertain”? Well, to the extent that these evoke anxiety from the parent, if they are responded to with coldness, ridicule, or punishment, they will become sources of shame.

Mothers of secure children appear to be much less threatened when their child expresses negativity. Check out this quote:

“Secure attachment is linked to the child’s ability to successfully express negative emotions. A secure child can cry, shout, or fall silent and know that he will be responded in a meaningful way. His negative emotions are thus an effective part of his repertoire and do not become ugly to him and have to be disavowed. He can say “I hate you” or “you don’t love me,” or “you are mean” or “you like the baby better than me” with confidence that he will NOT be met with an icy stare, the silent treatment, a slap, an order to go to the room, or various forms of guilt: “How can you say that?” “Don’t you know that hurts mommy’s feelings”, or “you apologize”. “

Try to be more comfortable and less threatened with your child’s emotions. Feel free to comment your thoughts or questions.

Karen, Robert (1994) Becoming Attached. New York: Warner Books, Inc.

I do my best to acknowledge their feelings, and listen, and be patient, but it is not easy.  My husband is the law of the land, so when what I am doing is not working, he steps in.  I think kids need both, but on our following road trip, I know all of our patience and emotions will be tested.  They are all older than before, so hopefully with all the goodies that I am bringing, and maybe some good listening and conversation, I can allow my children to “successfully express negative emotions,” OY!

What I am most excited about is we are visiting friends that I have had since childhood and family that I can just relax and enjoy with.  No mani/pedi, no big preparations, light packing with nothing warm or too dressy, just honoring our matriarch that has created such a legacy and contributed her positive energy to each soul that she has created.

Excited to see my Babushka,

Coach Yuliamy family and grandma 001

Screen Time is Mean, Green Time

Today I was picking which movies to take with us on the road, we will be in a couple of planes, and have a road trip.  We will also have toys, books, snacks, and just the beauty of the drive.  Is it ever enough? Will the kids say they are bored, or the infamous, “Are we there yet?”  This morning they woke up extra early, so they were helping me pick, view, download the movies. When it was time to get ready, they were all glued to the laptop, started whining, crying, getting upset, it is really just never enough.  I feel lucky that we are able to monitor how long and what they watch, and also that they have full days of activities, physical and intellectual.

The picture below is my beautiful grandmother, one of my cousins is still not born yet in this picture, and another is older and not in this shot as well, I am so excited to see everybody.  I was the only girl, and she adored me among all the boys, and I adore her, she always had a smile, so much love, I am so blessed to have inherited her happy energy.  We were all together for her 95th, and now heading to God Willing celebrate the big centennial.

Excited to spend time with family, play, celebrate, have fun, reminisce, meet new cousins that were born in the last five years.  Hopefully only needing those movies on the road to and from Boston.

Excited,

Coach Yulia

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Life is one adventure after the other

Whether it is ups or downs, it is all part of the ride, and we really appreciate the ups when we have the perspective of the downs.  We are preparing for our next adventure, we just had an amazing time with my husband’s side of the family, and now onto my side of the family, so excited, we all have not seen each other in five years, since my grandmother turned 95!

I am overflowing with gratitude, and I keep on seeing things that touch me deep, little glimpses, quotes, connections, just life is so grand.  The other day my daughter was really having a hard time over something, it was ugly, but I stood strong, and after all of it, she said I am sorry, and it made me tear up a little.  Kids open us up, it’s all for a reason, the work is hard, but it was so powerful to hear her make a choice to take responsibility and appreciate her amazing, beautiful, strong, and fun mom!

I know my worth, it is so powerful to know your worth, what you deserve, but it is also important to realize when somebody is going out of their way for you, and this quote really expresses that, feeling, knowing, and appreciating,

“It’s one thing to fall in love. It’s another to feel someone else fall in love with you, and to feel a responsibility toward that love.”

– David Levithan, Every Day

I think of it this way, in a family you just deal, no matter what happens, there is unconditional love, and you go through it together.  I tell my husband, there is no way out, it is a life sentence!

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Just Got Home

IMG_3331[1]Lately the kids have been waking up early, they kind of take turns, and coming to our bed, although we have a big bed, they are big kids, today that is how the day started, way too early.  Luckily we had a lot of fun plans ahead, including a welcome back picnic at their school.  Then I dropped them off at home and took a big step, got a special treatment for my hair, frizz be gone, tamer, easy to be low maintenance, but looks fabulous, excited.

Then I had an amazing time promoting www.coachyulia.com/arasys-inch-loss at a private party in Hollywood Hills.  What a wonderful group of people, everybody thoroughly enjoyed the demo, loved how they felt, and excited to have more.

The next few days are preparing for our trip, organizing the house, luckily the kids start full day regular school and Jewish school, so excited for them and me.

Everything is on track,

Thank God,

Grateful,

Present,

In my skin,

100% me,

Blessed for the support of my family,

The world is going to catch on the healthy, easy way to get the body of their dreams,

I’m doing it,

You can do it too,

Coach Yulia

Devising Devices

The other day someone kept on swerving closely into my lane when I was driving, when I got a close look, her eyes were not on the road at all, they were on her phone.  I know how hard it is, and although there are laws, people I know have been caught and got tickets, but everybody still does it.  One last email, text, or check through social media, it really is so intense of a pull.  I just came across this article of how it affects children, when parents are constantly on their devices, and this quote was the most powerful one of all.

“Young kids’ brains are really wired to seek out interaction with their parents,” Radesky says. “For example, when faced with a new situation, they will look at their parents to see their reactions, which helps them gauge how they should react and also helps them make sense of the experience.”

Here is the full article, https://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2015/03/29/parents-absorption-mobile-devices-can-take-toll-kids/aNZpWKGlbVNBgRd96GmngO/story.html.   When my oldest was around three, we learned something very powerful, especially since we have our own businesses, and any phone call, text, or email can be a new client.  One of us had to be off the phone and give undivided attention to the kids.  When they are newborns, it is more physical needs, you do what you have to do, and especially when they are sleeping a lot, there is a lot of time to multitask.  After I learned to put my phone away, took him to the park, and he said to me, “wow, you are smiling,” and I was shocked.  I am the fun mom, I take my kids everywhere, always on adventures, events, shows, but all they really want is their parents 100% present with them.

I work with pregnant women in Prenatal Yoga and as a Doula, and I always tell them, why do we need to know anything about pregnancy, birth, and parenting until we have to know it.  All we have to do is go with the flow, keep learning, be open, and trust our gut.

Parenting the hardest job in the world, you have to be an example, deal with things head on, not walk away, there is no way out.  It is rewarding when you see the kids learning and growing, but man its tough.  Today on Shabbat, our day of rest, there are no devices, no distractions, they have all of me for 24 hours, they desIMG_3255[1]erve it, its wonderful, but I am so happy when its their bedtime and its me time again.

That’s why kids are so cute,

Coach Yulia