For 24 hours I am cut off from the world by choice. Sometimes the day is relaxing, and sometimes it is non stop and full of people. Shabbat is so special for my kids, and today was full of people and energy. We are so used to escaping into our devices and world events, sometimes engaging full on as we are present with people can be overwhelming. Now getting back online, there is just too much, my mind cannot process or respond.
Even when there is rest and celebration, sometimes it is exhausting, too many words. Then getting back in the world, there are too many words. Interesting words, disturbing words, inspiring words, so my brain is choosing to stay in my cut off place for now.
I am grateful that I have Shabbat in my life,
It is so important for me and my family to reconnect,
Feeling especially blessed as I read my friends words below.
I had never felt so far away from home.
I am having a great time in Kazakhstan, please don’t misunderstand. But I sometimes feel so alone — I’m not part of a program, and I’m the only American at my workplace, in my apartment (building), in my “friend group.”
I’m also the only Jew in my workplace, my apartment (building), and my friend group.
So sometimes I feel doubly alone.
I wouldn’t call myself a particularly religious person (especially lately), but I dragged myself to synagogue today, thinking that I should probably go. And when I got there, I started to cry. A lot. I don’t know whether it was because I felt bad about not having been to shul in a long time or whether I was homesick. Either way, while I was there, I was so thankful to be in a room full of my people. I didn’t feel so alone. I spoke Russian — but I also spoke Hebrew and English, neither of which I’ve spoken in weeks.
And those few hours will make the rest of my week a lot easier. I won’t feel so alone anymore. I love my roommates and my friends here — and it’ll mean that I’ll get to enjoy their presence that much more.