Every Birth is Unique, Stories Harm

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I just came home from a powerful birth, and it was the first time I had this specific experience, and every time it is the first time.

Yesterday I was having a discussion about pregnancy and birth, and the person I was talking to said she wanted to confirm what I was saying with her sister who is a doctor.  I was trying to explain to her that there are so many different point of views from doctor to doctor, and of course with midwives and doulas it is a completely different approach of watchful waiting, not prevention, because there is nothing wrong.  One of my colleagues below wrote about the perineum, and I agree with her, better to let the body and baby do what it knows how to do, do not interfere, intervene, there is nothing to do.

Giuditta Tornetta
After 48 hours, one all nighter and a birth, helped client let go of a nurse eager to stretch the perineum, #keepyourfingersout#noperineumstretching, by stepping in and using rebozo on my hips for tag of war… happy to report intact peri… …”THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A HEROIC PERFORMANCE LAST NIGHT! You were amazing. So impressed you did that after an all nighter the night before. Thanks for your guidance during this unforgettable milestone in our lives.” Study show there are no benefits to perineum stretching


There is just too much information, from the internet to the views of your doctor, and then add friends, family and other birth professionals.  Especially as a first time mother, it is so important to get informed, and the best place to start is yourself.

  • Do you have a vision of how you want your birth to be?
  • Do you and your doctor see eye to eye?
  • Make sure you are finding books on how to manage labor and not just the medical and scientific components, which are important, but not necessary for us to get a degree in, the doctors, nurses and midwives have that covered.
  • Do you have anxiety or fear inside of you? Then it is a good idea to get to the root of it, because it will show up during birth.  There is hypnotherapy and many other ways, even Prenatal Yoga helps you understand how to breathe, listen and feel what is right for your body.
  • Trust your gut and your mother’s intuition, you really do know exactly what you need.


This is a great article about how contractions actually work, and why using the word pain makes no sense, because it is not like being sick, and it is actually good when it gets stronger and more consistent, it means baby is on the way.


I always tell my clients to stop listening to stories, and stay off the internet or videos, it is not your birth, your experience will be completely different.  Whatever the stories make you believe can affect your labor and birth, better to get out of your head and into your own body, you will have your own unique birth experience.


“I wondered why people don’t tell you more about the time in between contractions, when you don’t feel in pain at all.”

Birth on my mind,

Shabbat Shalom,

Coach Yulia

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