I was so blessed to grow up as an innocent child, and I want the same for my children. I really do live in a happy bubble, where we all do get along, and if we don’t you just move on, but now I cannot close my eyes. As a mother, I hear about all the sexual dysfunction in our society, and it makes me sick, pedophilia, religious communities, families, sex trafficking, as well as different countries and cultures and their abnormal “norms.” Not to mention Hollywood, O’reilly, one friend adopted and abused since childhood and another friend’s elderly female landlord forcefully coming on to him. I am so happy to see that it is being addressed in the Jewish community with a wonderful organization, JCW, in the video above.
I am going to begin with a beautiful article about how moms take care of their baby’s bodies, so they can be healthy, functional, and happy adults.
My patient was married off to a man 45 years older. Being a father of two young girls, this breaks my heart. In old Iran, it was not uncommon for women to marry men 20 years older. Most women did not work and depended solely on the income of the husband. Even if the marriage was horrible, they had no way out. But for minorities, such as Jews, there was another harsher reality. Young women at puberty could be raped just walking in the neighborhood. Once they lost their virginity no one would marry them. So fathers who wanted to buy protection for their young daughters would marry them off as soon as they could, to someone 30-50 years older! My patient’s husband died and left her widow when she turned 32! She never married Again. If you read this over and over again, you’ll realize the maddening, depressing and oppressive circumstances under which many of the minority girls in Iran grew up.
I know we all have different views on raising children, but there will come a time, especially in our modern world, when it is best they learn from their parents than the outside world.
Raising children is the most challenging adventure in life,
My Yoga teacher says the goal is to have independent and healthy adults,
Parents, if your kids have watched the Netflix show, “13 Reasons Why”, PLEASE watch it so that you can have discussions about it. The topics and themes covered are very serious and shouldn’t be left to only be interpreted and discussed amongst their friends. They need us. It will be very difficult to process so please make sure you regulate your own anxiety first.
The show touches on many issues including:
Suicide (including a very graphic portrayal a teen committing suicide at home)
Rape (two graphic rape scenes)
Bullying and Cyberbullying
“No means no” vs. “yes means yes” relating to consent for sexual activity
Drug and alcohol use
Verbal and physical abuse
Mental health, counseling, and proper help
There are more, but as you can see these are huge and very serious issues and they have to be processed if your child has seen the show. If your child hasn’t seen the show, you can be sure their peers are talking about it.
If it’s too much for you to discuss right away and you know you need to get your own head right with it, please talk it over with your own support system (therapist, spouse, other parents) first. We simply cannot leave our kids hanging on this one.