BIRTH: We are consumers not patients

Àdísà Àjàmú

Emotional pain inevitably visits us all. True Healing—the kind that is restorative—requires we understand that pain should only be a visitor in our lives—not a permanent resident. We mustn’t allow it to think it has found a home in us by assigning a permanent room for it in our lives for it. Too many of us are stuck because we treat pain like it’s family, feeding it and nurturing it, instead of treating it as an unwelcome visitor. For us to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually, we have to know when to embrace the growth that can be found in the hurt, while gradually letting the pain go to find somewhere else to live.

I am humbled by the the miracle of birth, and my goal is to empower women to know that they can do it, their body can do it, their baby can do it, it works. Thank God we do have a choice, to get informed, to get support, and to birth our way, we are consumers not patients.

You can decide to learn and choose, everything needs consent, no choices can be made without the mother’s signature, and that is purely legal and true.  Here is a glimspe into how money plays a big role in doctors decisions which may not necesarrily be in the best interest of the mother,


American health care, in one bill. VOX.COM|BY SARAH KLIFF


The following story just blew me away!  It shows what is possible with freedom of choice and skilled support.


Coach Yulia

So those 4 babies the other day… was two sets of twins born 14 hours apart. Both with second baby breech. And I had the privilege of catching and witnessing these powerful women choosing to birth their way. Against what most of society told them they couldn’t.

A little over a year ago the laws changed so that midwives could no longer support women pregnant with twins or breeches. These women’s options have been severely limited. If born in the hospital they will for sure be over medicalized but likely be forced to have a c-section. Because most OB’s aren’t learning the skills that I am learning.

My preceptor (and hero) Dr Fischbein, is giving these women choice and teaching me what midwives have always known. This is crazy….I want you to really think about that….. laws have been passed that are basically forcing women into the hospital and into OR’s without choice. If you were forced to have a surgery for a normal biological function of your body like for example sex, or eating or defecting. Would you then be outraged?

Never forget that women are the ones creating and building these babies. Our next generation….and WE get to choose how and where and with whom and in what position. Labor is the most radical human experience. And what we have done to disempower woman as a whole is deplorable. Women ask for permission and apologize and acquiesce and believe that their bodies don’t work and are fearful and drugged up and disconnected. This is what we have done to our women.

These powerful, magical beings. Look I don’t blame any woman for how she chooses to have her baby, EVER, because this is the water we swim in and its hard to separate out and advocate for something so different then most around you. But I can tell you with the utmost confidence that I have witnessed what happens when a woman hits that wall of doubt as she is having this said “radical” experience (as one of my midwife mentors likes to say) and she has her support team there holding her hand and wiping her brow. And she steps over that threshold. If you REALLY could understand what I’m saying…. in our human experience this is epic. And transformational. This is what I am here for. To support women’s transformation through childbirth.

When a woman is transformed she will lead even if it’s just her family, her neighborhood. And we need leadership. A different kind of leadership. I’m not saying women are the answer and men are bad. I’m saying getting the world in balance. Could transform everything.

And I’m saying birth is not an experience to get through its an opportunity to crack open and be reborn yourself. Every person in the room can be transformed. I’m not speaking rhetoric I am speaking from experience.

Friday two sets of twins, one VBAC, one who’s entire family moved here for a month from another state just to have choice. We were all transformed. Women deserve power and choice period every time. And I will stand by that and fight for that. And advocate for that.

Thank you Stuart James Fischbein for allowing me the privilege of learning from you I know what a blessing this is.

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